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Ideas and inspiration for your important relationships.

Random Ponderings
Little_Red_Hen_Cover

In the story The Little Red Hen, the overworked and under-supported Mama Hen spends all her time cooking and cleaning while the rest of her household naps the day away.


Finally fed up after getting no help in tending some wheat seeds she eventually turns into flour and then a cake, she answers the question of “Who’s going to eat this cake?” with, “Not any of you.”

Dad__I_10My dad is 82 years old. So with Father's Day approaching, I decided to take a trip back to my childhood and contemplate this man and his influence on me. What I discovered was not what I expected but an insight that I have come to regard as possibly his greatest legacy.

It is a legacy that I admire from the sidelines. And one that I am impressed by far beyond these words.

gate_latch
From the moment our children are born we, as parents, are asked to be the gatekeepers for what and with whom our children come into contact.


Do they have access to plug outlets or the cords of mini-blinds? Are they being exposed to lead? Could they choke on that grape? And this doesn't even begin to consider who their childcare provider is and other, much bigger, concerns.

(Part 1 of a 3 part series on Being Prickly)


porcupine_CCDrew_Avery

We come into contact with prickly people all the time. It might be a scowl, a frosty attitude or a touchy disposition. It might be the choice of words as in 'What do you want?!'


Sometimes they serve us coffee. Sometimes they sit across from us at work or in committee meetings. Sometimes they live in our neighborhood or even worse! in our own homes.


And sometimes - more often then we'd like to admit - they are staring back at us in the mirror.


(Part 2 of a 3 part series on Being Prickly)

Cactus_CCSearchNetMedia
Did you ever have an interaction with someone and walk away going - WT?? Do you have relationships where you walk away with that feeling all time? And the bigger question - Do people experience you that way?

Most of us slip occasionally, becoming prickly toward the people around us and could benefit from asking ourselves how we are coming across. But if you really want to understand and do connection better it helps to consider WHY you or someone in your life may be prickly in the first place.

(Part 3 of a 3 part series on Being Prickly)



Rose_thorns2_CCingridtaylar

Hopefully you've started at the beginning of this series with

Part 1 ~ How Prickly Are You? and Part 2 ~ Why People Are Prickly.

 

We can all be prickly sometimes, which doesn't mean we aren't good people, but it may mean that our thorns are getting in the way of others seeing that.

 

But acknowledging our prickliness still leaves us with two choices. We can either justify our approach - blaming it on genetics, life, others or apathy - and do nothing, or we can take responsibility for our actions and work to change people's experience of us.


If you are open to the latter and want to become a less prickly, more pleasant person to be around, then here are some attitudes and actions you can use.

Part 4 of a 3 part series on Being Prickly

Dog_meets_porcupine_CCdaisyelaine

The trouble with prickly people is that they are - well - prickly. As you can see by this picture it can literally be painful to be around them. So it’s a natural reaction to want to limit your contact.

Unfortunately, for the hyper-reacter or grouch it is hard to learn new ways of being with people when people don't go the extra distance to positively invest in you.

stopcomplaining

The other day, my son and I were walking through our neighborhood and came upon a challenging stretch of sidewalk. This section had an encroaching row of hedges on one side and a thriving, tall flower bed on the other. My son is in a wheelchair and some of the flowers were sagging over just at the height of his face. Unfortunately, I was behind him pushing, and he isn't good at raising his arms. Add to this the fact that the bees were clearly in love with these blossoms and were everywhere. It was narrow and bumpy and hot and I found myself getting annoyed and felt a gripe coming on.

last_piece_of_pie With some variation here's how married life often happens. You meet the person of your dreams. You fall in love, get married, set up a home and possibly add some children. But then what?


Life gets busy. Kids, job requirements, house maintenance, individual hobbies, outside friendships and extended family obligations all take a piece of the pie. Our committed relationships get pushed further and further down the priorities list and before you know it, there is no more pie.

diane_rehm_website

For those of you who don’t know, Diane Rehm hosts a show on NPR. According to the WAMU website: "For more than 25 years, The Diane Rehm Show has offered listeners thoughtful and lively conversations on an array of topics with many of the most distinguished people of our times."


Now before you get too excited and to set the record straight, I wasn’t almost on the show as a guest, I was almost on the show as a caller. Actually, technically, I was on the show but let me get to that.


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