Dear Reader,

In case you've been wondering why I haven't posted lately here's what's going on. Without going into detail, this year has had a few too many setbacks, sadnesses and life stresses. Not all bad of course but just a lot crammed into a short period of time.

Now I am big on living life with purpose but I found that trying to keep it all together was not working. So I went the other route and let a lot of it go.

Fortunately, this has made room for me to create my latest, greatest adventure...

If you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right. ~ Henry Ford

The 'I Can't' mindset is something I come across often. Sometimes it's from my children when I asked them to get up for school or my husband when he doesn't find time to exercise. Sometimes it's from a discouraged client who can't get behind his or her own goals. And sometimes it's from my own mind focusing on all the problems, all the reasons why not, all the barriers to success.

When I was considering going back to grad school at age 38, there were plenty of reasons why that was a bad idea. I'm too old. The kids are too young. It will be too hard. I don't have the money. Fortunately I worked through those obstacles because had I let them guide me, I would not have gotten that degree. And I would not be doing the work I love today.

So your child REALLY likes video games. So if left alone, they would play 3, 4, 5 or more hours non-stop. So they resist your attempts to limit their time playing these games or sneak in extra time whenever possible. So you catch them lying or staying up late to play more and being irritable, angry or stuck in a moping mood when not able to play.

At what point do you wonder if this is normal or if it seems more like the signs of a video game junkie?

But it is important to remember both that it's a rare person who hasn't dabbled in dishonesty and that there's a big gap between telling a lie and being a pathological liar.

How we respond to our children's lying can make a difference in whether this is a stage or a profession. So before you get out that bar of soap or the tabasco sauce, it might help to understand the purpose and development of lying.

Go The Fuck To Sleep is a new book written by Adam Mansbach about a tired parent's frustration at his child's inability to go to sleep. Written like a children's book - but definitely not one - it mimics the rhyming cuplet style of the sleepytime genre only with a twist.

The story highlights much of the 11th hour drama that parents with young kids can relate to. Negotiating the number of books read, glasses of water drunk, and, not surprisingly, just how many trips to the bathroom need to be taken, it offers two sweet lines of text, followed by two exacerbated lines finishing with the book's catchy signature phrase.

The book appears to be doing well and the author is making the rounds to media outlets. But there's something about a book that jokes about being SO frustrated with your child that you would repeatly tell them to 'Go the fuck to sleep' - if only in your head - that has me going against the 'this book had me ROTFLMAO' crowd and give it a thumbs down.

Not that, like many people, I didn't chuckle on the first page but...

Dear Annie,

I have an arranged marriage that is having problems. When my husband and I talk, he makes issues out of everthing I say. Also he never supports me with my mother-in-law who seems to look for that moment when she can create a misunderstanding between us.

I have a baby and my husband threatens divorce. Then calls up my parents every other day complaining. What can I do to make this better? ~ Worried and Discouraged

(I have three awesome sons but I always wanted a daughter too. So if I had had one, here's what I would say to her now.)

Dear daughter,

WOW - have you grown up. It's like I can't even remember when you were a little girl. Now you are sorting out the world of school, friends, boys, sex, career plans, and eventually marriage? motherhood?

It's a confusing time with lots of pressure and messages about what you should be doing. And I know I've given you plenty of advice already but I hope you are open to a little more. There are some tough challenges you are facing and I - well - as your mother, am worried for you.

What constitutes good mothering?

When Lenore Skenazy shared that she allowed her 9 year old son to 'roam' the landscape and subways of NY she felt a huge public backlash. The confessions of Amy Chua’s tiger mother approach started a firestorm of debate about over-controlling parents. And Sarah Palin is always an easy target for arguing that she is too involved or not involved enough in her children's lives and their Dancing With The Stars bids.

Most mothering is judged as too hard, too soft, too absent or too emeshed with their children. With the end result being the same message - we are bad mothers.

What is the secret to a good life? I have been actively pondering this question since I was asked to answer it during my recent adventure to become Good Morning America's first Advice Guru. (I made it to the top 20 and this was my last challenge: answer this question on video in 20 seconds or less. Which may be why I didn't make it past this round. Has anyone ever known me to only talk for 20 seconds?)

My brain raced with thousands of thoughts! I sought the wise words of spiritual leaders, popular writers, poets, musicians, bumper stickers, and the wisdom of family, facebook friends, fans, my gratitude group, my teenagers and my clients. On the suggestion of one friend, I even googled it!

Dear Friends, Family and Fans,

I just wanted to post this quickly to update you on the fact that my bid for the Advice Guru Job at Good Morning America is over. They announced 7 of the 20 to continue on and I was not among them.

It has been an awesome ride - though it ended before I wanted to get off. The best parts involved getting to answer questions, learning to have more faith in myself and all of you - the people who stepped up and made me feel extremely cared about.

You all rock! In fact I've gotten much of the wisdom I do possess from watching those around me learn and grow. So thank you all for your support and for your example of how to step up and make another person's day!

I am sure that another ride is just around the corner too. So stay tuned...

Annie

Dear Annie,

While helping others deal with stress is important, what do I do if I am the stressed person? It seems like I have so many issues to deal with on a day-to-day basis. I've been seeing a counselor and am on medication but I still get so stressed out at times that it makes me physically ill. Do you have any suggestions? ~ Overwhelmed with Stress

Stress is like the flu. It can get passed on just by coming into contact with someone who has it! And holidays - with all their high expectations, sense of obligations, crowd navigations, and family connections - set up the perfect conditions for catching and passing on this bug.

Hi Annie,

Here is my situation. I'm upset that my husband has an ex-coworker friend - female - that he texts everyday. She lives about 3 hours away, is about 20 years younger than him and is divorced.

He assures me that there's nothing romantic going on and has made an attempt to keep the texting down when we're out for dinner, but every night he's in the TV room and they are texting a lot.

He has left two wives (one which was me - we have remarried) for other women. So if I accept what he's saying, am I fooling myself?

Signed ~ Fool for Love

So what do you think?

-~-

Now I'm not saying that this is a scientific study or anything but from what I’m seeing dogs win hands down.

When my son was in 7th grade he was particularly short.

Genetically predisposed to being a late bloomer he found himself suddenly surrounded by a sea of students who had literally grown a foot overnight. Between gawky limbs, swirling body odor, deepening voices and the constant chatter of socially-dawning teenagers, my undersized son worked to maneuver the halls and the rules of middle school.